Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
