I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
