The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
