so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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