She is in my trunk
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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