Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
false alarm, still single
Randomize
