His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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