you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
