This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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