youre lurking in front of me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
