I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
