well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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