I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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