His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
