susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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