Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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