I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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