I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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