You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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