It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.