What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death