come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.