I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
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cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
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i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios