if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
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I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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