It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You smell like stripper and shame
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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