The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
