Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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