u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
