Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
