let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
