i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
