OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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