She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
