i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
