State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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