Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Come see our sink grown plant.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
