yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
