quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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