Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
