I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
