haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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