ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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