a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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