is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
