what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize