Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
