I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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