I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
