the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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