Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
