Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Your tits are I can't wait for
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
