so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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