Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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