how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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