Whats the glycemic index on semen?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
