Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
