Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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