You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
