I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you traded sex for a burrito?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
