if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I met the friendliest cop last night
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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