i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
where am i from again
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize